nancy enjoyable, and having a baby of my own a joy I had ne ver even dreamed about. Even that classical bugaboo which is supposed to create homosexuality, the fear of childbirth, did not appear in my case; my son was born without anesthetics at my own request.

Not until my son was past a year old and I was beginning to fret for another baby to replace my big boy did I begin to feel a vague unhappine 30. To this day I feel that if I had been kept busy with a baby every ten months, my tendonices would never have returned. But that is idle speculation; obviously my inner emotions prevented me from marrying the sort of man who would keep me busy producing babies and living the life of a busy hausfrau.

All during this time I had been building mysolf a reasonably successful career as a writer of adventure storie s. My agent noticed a persistent homosexual cast in all of my writings, and when I was in my middle twentie 8, he began the task of helping me to understand myself. First he sent mo various of the better gay novels, and when I reacted to them as he expected with interest which covered an almost desperate need for self-understanding he introduced me to sex information on an adult level of the Kinsey variety. You must realize that my supposedly excellent and full sex instruction had been of the kind recommended by schools, churches, and the like; in short, it was of that conventi onal variety guaranteed not to offend even the strait-laced and bigoted, and therefore leaving everything but strictly conventi onal sex as a realm of chaotic outer darkness.

And here, I must say, lies the real lies the real tragedy. The books and manuals for adults only come far too late. The girl or the boy with homosexual tendencies needs informati on desperately at the age of fourteen, not when he or she is "over 21." By the age of 21, the girl is ofton married and the boy has made desperate and floundering experiments with women and some times with mon which have confirmed a pattern leading me to agree sometimes with the remark that all homosexuals are neurotio. How could they be otherwise when they have no chance to grow up as they are? It is considered necessary now (and thank God for small mercies) to give a girl information